Post by Nightmare Moon on Mar 28, 2013 21:23:31 GMT -6
Hey there. The role play lesson today is the basic way to lengthen your post. So, please, think this through and give it a try!
Try to describe things that aren't really....necessary. Like so.
BEFORE: Nightmare Moon walked into the castle. She looked around and thought it was really pretty.
AFTER: Nightmare Moon walked into her new castle for the first time ever! She walked a little to the left, peering into rooms here and there, poking fun at the guards, and inspecting antiques. Then she headed on over to the right side of the castle, glancing into the master bedroom and a few of the guest bedrooms that were as big as a house! After happily cruising through the two sides, Nightmare Moon headed to the center of the castle. And that's when she saw it-the throne of Equestria. It was absolutely marvelous!
If you feel like you need a little more, try adding a little backstory.
BEFORE: Nightmare Moon walked into her new castle for the first time ever! She walked a little to the left, peering into rooms here and there, poking fun at the guards, and inspecting antiques. Then she headed on over to the right side of the castle, glancing into the master bedroom and a few of the guest bedrooms that were as big as a house! After happily cruising through the two sides, Nightmare Moon headed to the center of the castle. And that's when she saw it-the throne of Equestria. It was absolutely marvelous!
AFTER: Nightmare Moon walked into her new castle for the first time ever! She walked a little to the left, peering into rooms here and there, poking fun at the guards, and inspecting antiques. Then she headed on over to the right side of the castle, glancing into the master bedroom and a few of the guest bedrooms that looked as if she could fit her whole house when she was younger in each one! After happily cruising through the two sides, Nightmare Moon headed to the center of the castle. And that's when she saw it-the throne of Equestria. It was absolutely marvelous! Nightmare could remember back in the day when she would play "princess" with her sister, Celestia, but now the throne she was to sit on was real, not a paper mâché craft that constantly fell apart! This was such an amazing moment of her life! Her parents would be so proud of her.....ending the day eternally and making sure to it that it would always be night.....what was there not to be proud of?
Please post using these two tips(notify me first), and you will receive your grade!
Try to describe things that aren't really....necessary. Like so.
BEFORE: Nightmare Moon walked into the castle. She looked around and thought it was really pretty.
AFTER: Nightmare Moon walked into her new castle for the first time ever! She walked a little to the left, peering into rooms here and there, poking fun at the guards, and inspecting antiques. Then she headed on over to the right side of the castle, glancing into the master bedroom and a few of the guest bedrooms that were as big as a house! After happily cruising through the two sides, Nightmare Moon headed to the center of the castle. And that's when she saw it-the throne of Equestria. It was absolutely marvelous!
If you feel like you need a little more, try adding a little backstory.
BEFORE: Nightmare Moon walked into her new castle for the first time ever! She walked a little to the left, peering into rooms here and there, poking fun at the guards, and inspecting antiques. Then she headed on over to the right side of the castle, glancing into the master bedroom and a few of the guest bedrooms that were as big as a house! After happily cruising through the two sides, Nightmare Moon headed to the center of the castle. And that's when she saw it-the throne of Equestria. It was absolutely marvelous!
AFTER: Nightmare Moon walked into her new castle for the first time ever! She walked a little to the left, peering into rooms here and there, poking fun at the guards, and inspecting antiques. Then she headed on over to the right side of the castle, glancing into the master bedroom and a few of the guest bedrooms that looked as if she could fit her whole house when she was younger in each one! After happily cruising through the two sides, Nightmare Moon headed to the center of the castle. And that's when she saw it-the throne of Equestria. It was absolutely marvelous! Nightmare could remember back in the day when she would play "princess" with her sister, Celestia, but now the throne she was to sit on was real, not a paper mâché craft that constantly fell apart! This was such an amazing moment of her life! Her parents would be so proud of her.....ending the day eternally and making sure to it that it would always be night.....what was there not to be proud of?
Please post using these two tips(notify me first), and you will receive your grade!